#18 - Letting Go
#18 - Letting go
This article discusses:
Uncomfortable feelings
Emergency self-care strategies.
Tell me about you.
Good morning, beautiful creatures.
Today, I want to write about something special and more personal. I will literally put myself out there. I won’t start the article with a quote. I will share more about my personal experiences and how I deal with uncomfortable feelings.
Tomorrow I’ve got surgery. If you read this article, I am fine and the surgery belongs in the past. But I feel like writing this to you will still be important when I will face challenges in the future. This article is a note to my future self.
I knew I was going to get surgery four weeks ago. I was diagnosed in August 2021 (so a while ago!). I’ve faced long periods of waiting and stress. During those times, I’ve been experiencing multiple feelings, going from somewhat uncomfortable to very uncomfortable. Feelings are on a spectrum, aren’t they?
I’ve been stressed. I’ve been scared and felt powerless as I will be under anaesthesia, completely unconscious, letting the surgeon do her job. I’m feeling anxious because I won’t be in control. I won’t know what’s happening to my body. I let my imagination appear, and sometimes, it is not a good idea! I’ve also been a bit angry and annoyed that I’ve got to do this. I also feel a certain amount of shame due to the nature of the surgery.
That’s a lot of hard-to-feel emotions, right?
However, I am writing this article to you today to share some of my emergency self-care strategies when I feel this way. Feelings are completely natural. They make us humans and they are necessary. I love feeling. This is my strength. Even when I feel “too much!” However, now, those feelings are painful.
What do I do when I feel what I don’t want to be feeling? Here are some of my strategies.
Normalise feelings. It’s completely humane, natural and “normal” to feel this way. I normalise feeling being on a spectrum. Sometimes it’s more painful than it “should” be. I notice, acknowledge, feel, accept and release the feeling. You can find more methods and eco-exercises on my Instagram page on how to navigate certain feelings such as sadness, anger, anxiety, stress, and so forth.
Whatever I feel, it is okay. I accept and welcome the feelings.
2. Try to understand their origins. In this particular experience, I’ll be under anaesthesia, which will be a first time for me. The most painful feeling is this sense of powerlessness, this sense of losing control. It feels like I won’t be in charge of my own health. But it is actually the opposite. Allowing my surgeon to do the procedure tells my body, “I take care of myself” - “I am in charge of my health” - “I allow specialists to work with me on my healing processes”
3. Affirmations Work. You know how much I use them in my healing strategies. Here are some more affirmations: “It is okay not to be in control” - “It is okay to let go” - “I release” - “It is safe to release.”
4. Everything is temporary. “Nothing is permanent.” Buddhist philosophies help me a lot in my daily life in general, but especially in those moments. I know these feelings won’t last, so let’s try to enjoy them!
5. Navigating uneasiness. I learn to let go. I unlearn to control everything. Learning from those feelings that have so much to teach me. In order to do so, I want to embrace and experience them. As Rilke would say, “Live the questions now” and embrace pain and discomfort.
“Why would you want to exclude from your life
Any uneasiness, any pain, any depression,
Since you don’t know what work
They are accomplishing within you?” Rilke (The Eighth Letter, 1903)
“(Emotions) They’ve got so much to teach us.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going.
No feeling is final.” Rilke (Go to the limits of your longing, 1903)
6. Inside is the answer. “There is only one way: Go within.” (Rilke, The First Letter, 1903) said and he added “You couldn't disturb it any more violently than by looking outside and waiting for outside answers to questions that only your innermost feeling, in your quietest hour, can perhaps answer.” (The First Letter). I emphasise again the importance of allowing oneself to experience those feelings.
7. Meditation and soft music. Even 5 minutes of meditation, breath work, classical music or Tibetan music can be enough to release stress and reduce cortisol. They are my go-to when I have only a few minutes.
8. Going for a run outside has been the best stress relief I’ve found so far.
9. Pushing my boundaries. I’ve never had surgery before. I might be in some pain post-surgery. It might sound weird, but it is also an opportunity to kindly push my boundaries and discover what my body is capable of doing/feeling. Remember: pain is necessary. Pain is our body sending us messages. It is time to listen. I might discover some pain I’ve never experienced before. I perceive this unknown as a new experience to explore.
10. Reaching out for support to my loved ones. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to reach out and to speak up. I could say « Hey. I’m feeling stressed and I’m scared because of the surgery happening soon. Can we sit down and have a chat? » Expressing your needs and wants are very important in any relationship. It is also something I’m trying to do more often, as I tend to be the « helper » or “the saviour” in relationships. This time, it is my time to be supported, and it is okay.
11. Soothing my soul by doing what I love the most, such as writing - writing here right now is so healing (pre-surgery), eating chocolates, being in nature, having a bath, turning my phone off and having a hot drink (nice and warm chai latte!). Taking care of my whole self as much as possible.
12. Noticing the positive aspects of the surgery. First of all, I have to do this to avoid some more health issues so it’s a preventive surgery that is needed. I’ll get to have the day off on Monday and work from home on Tuesday! Hence, I’ll be able to spend quality time at home and rest. Life is allowing me to slow down. How wonderful!
Lastly, I want to remind you that those strategies are personal and specifically relate to my experience at this moment. I keep my self-care exercises dynamic and moving.
I allow space for change if necessary.
Tell me about you. How do you experience uncomfortable feelings?
How do you react to them?
How do you take care of your whole self?
I’m sending you pure and genuine love, filled with light and warmth.
Take care of your whole self, each other, and your community.
Nurture and be mindful of the natural world around you and within you.
Sarah from Sarah Frustié Therapy
Resources
R. M. Rilke to F. X. Kappus. (First compiled, 1903). Letters to a Young Poet (1929).
Live the Questions Now.
The Eighth Letter.
Go to the limits of your longing.
The First Letter.
R. M. Rilke. (1905). Rilke's Book of Hours: Love Poems to God. I, 59.
Written 14/04/2024
Published 23/09/2025
